The Jungle
by Netbug-Archive
Summary: An all too well know plot devise has come to put two OCs in its web. Cue the insanity. AU AstroRose. Crackfic


Okay, I usually don't do stories like this, where it's just OCs without a real connection to the show and all besides them interacting with the Hyperforce in other stories and being robot monkeys and all, especially when I haven't actually fully introduced them yet (Is anybody still reading after that?) but this is for a friend and I'm actually pretty happy with it, and if she is I'm fine with that. Anybody else enjoying is just a bonus.

For the sake of everybody's sanity, it's best to explain who these guys are and the like.

Rose: She is introduced in my fic _Journey of the Heart_. She's very strait forward and a bit sarcastic, but at the same time not very understanding of things that would be normal to other people. She's very curious that way.

Astro: A very light hearted, faux heroic character, who seems to have the ability to recognize plot points in his own life and break the 4th wall (although this is only in the stories with Rose). He's quite childish.

How they know each other: Actually, they don't in "official" plotline, but they worked together in an AU fan comic called Tag Team that's on my deviantART.

So yeah. To make a long story short, my friend likes the idea of these two together, even though it's not at this point an official pairing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with it a little in the AU world, can I? XD I hope you like it Horse Lover.

Disclaimer: Uh... well, I don't own the robot monkey's design and original premise, but other than that this fic is pretty much my stuff. My characters. My setting. Not much to disclaim here.

* * *

The Jungle  
By Netbug009 

The air was humid and warm. A drop of cool water rolled off a leaf high in the trees of the forest. It fell farther and farther until it landed on the nose of Astro, a blue monkey with bright orange eyes. Those eyes opened slowly. Upon realizing where he was, he shot to a seated position. "Huh? What? Where am I?" He looked to his side. The ground he was on was dirty and wet. "Uh!" He stood up in disgust and took off his cape, wringing out the water. His cape was the same color as his fur, except for the star in the middle of it, which matched his eyes. He quickly slipped it back on and began to look around. "How did I get here anyway? Last thing I remember, I was sleeping in my own charger pod." He looked up at the sky, or at least the little bit you could see through the trees.

"Okay, so I should get up there and figure out where the exit-oof!" He fell to the ground, splattering mud all over. He sat up slightly and looked over to the robot monkey he had bumped into; a magenta female with dark brown eyes. Astro immediately recognized her. "Rose?! What are you doing here?" As he asked, he was standing up and wringing out his cape again.

Rose slowly sat up with a groan. "Astro? Is that you?" Astro took Rose by the hand and helped her stand up. "I don't know. What are you doing here?"

"I don't know, but it's nice to find somebody else around here." Astro replied with a smile. Rose smiled as if to say she agreed. "So... do you know the way out?"

"If I did do you think I'd be wandering around in here?"

"Good point. I was about to head up to the treetop and see what I could find."

"Sounds good."

Astro began to ascend to the canopy. At least, that's what he meant to do. He found himself going at 0 MPH. "Um... okay..." He moved his cape to look at his jetpack. Rose also moved behind him to check. "Can you see anything Rose?"

"Yeah, there's a giant slash mark on it."

"Are you serious?!"

"Yep, unfortunately."

"That means the same thing brought us both here!"

"What makes you think that?"

"The similar slash mark on your jetpack."

"What?!" Rose turned as much as she could to look at the said equipment. Astro was correct. "Great, so we're both stuck down here. The branches are even too high to climb up onto."

"That's odd."

"Yeah, isn't it?"

They both stood there for a moment, trying to think of what to do now. After a moment, Rose noticed Astro's eyes widen. "What's wrong?"

"Oh no... it can't be..."

"What? What is it?!"

"Think about it. Two characters get stuck somewhere, like a cave or a forest or an island, and all ways that they could escape right away are conveniently and sometimes illogically removed."

"What's your point?"

Astro grabbed Rose by the shoulders and shook her. "Don't you get it Rose?! This is the most common plot devise for fan service! This whole thing is a ploy to get us to hang out and please our shippers!"

Rose twitched. "Please tell me you're joking."

"No Rose! I'm not! It's a trap! A horrible, romantic trap!"

"Do we even _have_ shippers?!" Rose asked.

"Yeah! Don't you ever take a moment of quiet and listen when we're together?"

"What?"

"Just try it."

Rose closed her eyes and activated her left comm. receptor. When her hearing was at its peak, the sound of squealing was barely audible across the fourth wall. Rose was dumbfounded.

"Told ya." Astro said.

"...I don't believe this." Rose pulled out her finger knives. "Forget the plot! I'm not running around this place any more!" She clawed into the bark of one of the trees and began climbing up that way. It took a few minutes, but soon she reached a branch. She was easily able to climb the rest of the way up into the tree tops. Once up there, her eye's widened.

Trees, and nothing but them in every direction is what she saw. No land, water, or anything else but endless trees. "Oh come on!"

"So which way is out?" Astro yelled up.

"None at this point," Rose replied, and proceeded to slide down the tree trunk. "Okay, let's walk. There has to be an exit in sight eventually, right?"

* * *

"Day 5 of our journey through the cheesy plot jungle. Plenty of water and food is around. Apparently the plot doesn't involve either of us getting close to death by malnutrition." 

"Astro, how long are you going to keep doing that?"

"I don't know. It passes the time. Makes the plot more interesting too."

"We're trying to escape the plot!"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Rose groaned and fell face first to the ground. "Face it. We're not going to get out of here without doing something that could be taken as romantic subtext."

"You mean besides just talking to each other even once?"

"Yeah."

Rose sat up. "So what's your idea then?"

Astro walked over to Rose and sat down next to her. "Well, the least disgusting and mind scarring way we could do this is talk and gain a deeper understanding of one another."

Silence for a moment, then Rose shrugged. "Okay, I'm willing to try anything at this point."

Another silence; this one longer.

"So," Astro finally said, "seen any good movies lately?"

"Meh. not really."

"Oh..."

"...Yep."

"Any bad movies then?"

"I don't go watch movies much."

"Oh."

"Uh, huh."

"This isn't working, is it?"

"Not at all."

* * *

"Day 23; life is still as boring and full of illogically placed rations as when we started out. Oh, this is Rose by the way. The former keeper of this non-existent log isn't taking being stranded as well as I am." Astro was in a fetal position, rocking back and forth slowly. "Uh, are you gonna be okay, Astro?" 

"Can't... take... being stuck in... cliche yet useful plot device... much longer..."

"Is that a no?"

"Starting... to crack... Mental energy drained from... keeping the fourth wall open so long... Must get out of jungle... before wall closes... Must not forget that this is all a trap... lest I actually... start to feel... attracted... to Rose."

"Lest you so_ what_ now?!" Rose rushed over to Astro and grabbed him by the cape, slapping his face repeatedly. "Astro! Snap out of it! This is all a trap, remember? You don't like me that way! In fact, you think I'm annoying, and that I constantly down your overly hyper spirit! Astro!"

Rose stopped the attack and stared at Astro. He opened one of his eyes (the other was black and puffy) and looked at Rose. After a moment, he smiled sheepishly. "Hehehe... you're really pretty when you're angry."

"Ah! I'm losing him!" Rose let Astro fall face first into the mud. "What's going to happen to me when he's totally gone?! Am I going to forget and start to like him too?! I don't know how to keep the wall between reality and fiction open! What if he tries to_kiss_ me?! What if I _let_ him?! No!! Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!" Rose took a deep breath. "Okay, calm down. If I get us out of this plot, we'll be okay even when the wall closes, right? We won't go gaga for each other then, right? So if I please the shippers now before the wall closes, I can escape this mess! But if I'm not quick, I could forget what I'm doing and think I actually like him!" Rose cringed. She though for a moment, then gulped. "There's only one quick way to get out of this... oh Shuggazoom." Rose walked up to Astro and picked him up by the cape again. She felt sick to her stomach as she began to move their faces closer together.

At that moment, what could only be described as the dues ex machina of buzz saw machines ran past the duo and cut a pathway that lead to an exit from the trees. Rose looked as the saw as it disappeared over the horizon, blinking several times a minute.

Astro groaned. "What happened? What's going on? And... what are you doing?"

Rose looked back to Astro. Of course, she did so without thought her face and his collided in a way that could only be described as a kiss. The two backed off from one another as quickly as they could, yelling and screaming, then stared at each other for a moment in an awkward silence.

Astro laughed nervously. "I'm sorry Rose... I know I'm awesome and probably hard to resist to you, but I think we should just be-"

"It was an accident you idiot!! I don't like you! I never liked you! I never will like you! You're disgusting and overly peppy and a pain in the rear! You hear me?! An accident, darnit!"

"Oh..."

"That better not have just been a hint of sadness I just heard out of you!"

"What?! No!"

"Good! Now let's get out of here!" Rose grabbed Astro by the cape and dragged him towards the exit."

"...You don't really think I'm disgusting, do you?"

Rose looked down at Astro with a tinge of guilt. "...Nah, you're not that bad."

* * *

Man, did I have fun writing this! XD Please tell me what you thought of it! Thanks for reading! 


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